HOW TO DEAL WITH TEMPER TANTRUMS

By: SONAL SHAH, M.D.

    Temper tantrums, a common way for toddlers to express their anger, frustration, or disappointment are a normal part of growing up.  Tantrums are perfectly normal in children under age four.  Tantrums can begin shortly after their first birthday, peaking for most in the second year, and continuing in many children beyond age four.

There are a number of reasons why tantrums happen:

• The need to release frustration.
• The need to express their feelings, needs, and wishes.  Most toddlers do not yet have the language skills to do this.
• Lack of control over their emotions.
• Hunger, over stimulation, boredom.
• Some kids throw tantrums because it gets them what they want – your attention.
• Too little choices or too many choices.

Prevention is the best defense against temper tantrums.

• Establishing consistent, daily routines can help minimize tantrums.
• Avoid letting your toddler go for long stretches without food.
• Make sure your child is well rested, especially before a busy day or a stressful activity.
• Reduce the need to say “no.”  Limit the rules, but be consistent in enforcing them.
• Control is important to a young child, so let her make some decisions when possible.
• Create a safe environment in your home that will allow your child the freedom to explore.

Even with all of your best preventive efforts, there will be times when your little one simply loses hers cool.  When this happens, there is not much you can do.  The most important thing is to keep cool and deal with the tantrum as calmly as possible.  If your child is not in danger of hurting herself or others, walk away from her when she throws a tantrum.  If she sees her tantrum isn’t having an effect on you, she will most likely stop.

When your child is having a public tantrum – the best thing is to pick her up and carry her to a safe place.

When the tantrum is over, let it go.  Give her a hug and a kiss and tell her that you love her.  Then move on. 

Most children will outgrow the tantrum phase by age four.  This is when they learn to use words to express their desires and anger.