HELPING KIDS COPE WITH THE

 MIDDLE SCHOOL YEARS

By: Nadyne Lee, A.R.N.P.

The middle school years mark the passage from childhood to adolescence.  This brief, three-year period is a time of rapid growth and change in all areas of a child’s development: physical, emotional, social and intellectual.  Parents can be very instrumental in guiding their children through this turbulent time in their maturation process.  Although most preadolescents don’t show it by their words or actions, they need their parent’s love and support just as much as they did when they were younger.  At this time of life, sex hormones shift into high gear.  The normal imbalance in hormones can lead to enormous mood swings as well as rapid physical changes.  Physical appearance is very important to a pre-teen.  Acne is a major cause of distress but it can be treated with new medicines.  Remember how it felt to have your voice crack while you were giving an oral report to your class?  Or what it was like to be the last one of your friends to really need a bra?  Adults have the luxury of hindsight when thinking about the physical changes involved with puberty.  Over a span of 20 to 40 years, a few years of being awkward and uncoordinated doesn’t seem like such a long time.  But to a child who is coping with the experience in the here and now, it can seem like forever.  Most middle school children are uncomfortable with and dissatisfied about their looks.  You can help by gently reminding your pre-adolescent that nature’s schedule is different for everyone, and that the body one has in middle school is not the body one will have forever.  You also need to respect your child’s growing need for privacy, but be ready to provide information about sexual development and acceptable sexual behavior.  Be sure to teach your pre-adolescents about your moral and ethical values concerning sex and sexuality.  At this age, pre-teens are very open to hearing your thoughts about sex and incorporating them as their own.

At some point during the middle school years, peers replace parents as the center of pre-adolescent life.  This can be hard to accept for loving parents who are accustomed to sharing every aspect of their children’s lives.  Suddenly, you are shut out.  Your opinions aren’t wanted and may even be dismissed as stupid.  As painful as this is for parents, it is a necessary stop all children must take on the road to independence.  Although most preteens are excited about growing up and leaving childhood behind, what lies ahead is unknown and a little scary.  Because there is safety in numbers, preteens feel a strong need to belong to a group and to be just like everyone else.  Friendships are therefore an important part of middle school life.  You can help by encouraging your preteen to participate in extracurricular activities.  Children who are having a hard time establishing friendships at school should be encouraged to try out-of-school activities where there are opportunities to meet other preadolescents.  Most parents are concerned about the influence other middle school children will have over their children.  They also want to make sure that their preteens don’t feel left out by their peers.  One of the most important things you can do to help your child weather the often-stormy course of middle school friendships, is to build your child’s self-worth.  Nothing helps a child fight peer pressure or cope with the loss of a friend better than believing in him or herself.  Preteens need contact with their friends.  Be sure that your child is able to get together with his or her best friends frequently.  Permit them to call their friends during the day or evening as long as they keep the telephone time within reason.  Get to know your child’s friends.  Since the peer group is extremely important to your child it is critical that you approve of the friends your preteen has chosen.

It is required that all students entering middle school receive a school physical.  During this very important exam your child will be tested for anemia, visual or hearing problems and scoliosis.  Your child will receive a complete history and physical exam and immunization update.  Developmental issues and behavioral problems will be discussed.  Be sure to call soon to schedule your pre-middle school physical.  If you have any questions call Leitchfield Pediatric Clinic, P.S.C. at 270-259-5641